I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ttyl tear gas
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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