he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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