i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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