WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
