so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
