she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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