if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
