Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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