Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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