Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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