i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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