What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
