Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
