Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
