you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
