I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
please come you make the beer taste better
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
And then he peed in my hair
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