I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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