Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
