Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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