just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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