Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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