Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
