I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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