After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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