I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
