we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
