So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
