Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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