sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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