Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
