thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
how drunk are you?
Several
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
