You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
