clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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