I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
