Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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