it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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