420 ftw
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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