We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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