i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
