Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
