Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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