dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
