I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
