ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
