Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
