Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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