Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
