just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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