I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sponge bath it is.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Randomize
