i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
