love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
